


Ersatz, of course

by AmberTrash



Category: Shin Megami Tensei Series, 真女神転生IV | Shin Megami Tensei IV
Genre: Fluff, Jokes, M/M, Walter Being an Asshole, mentions of gross food, stay away if that stuff makes you feel sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27961049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberTrash/pseuds/AmberTrash
Summary: Walter plays a prank on Jonathan
Relationships: Jonathan/Walter (Shin Megami Tensei)
Kudos: 7





	Ersatz, of course

"Would you like to try some?"

The bartender grinned in a way that wasn't very reassuring. But with their own rations they had taken from Mikado wearing thin, Walter didn't see much of a choice. He poked at the food, if you could call it that. It looked like a gray lump of aspic. With a greasy, iridescent sheen. He felt his stomach turn.

Beside him, a female hunter tapped his shoulder. He turned to face her and was taken aback. Unlike the other hunters, this one had some sense of style. He did think that her red leather pant and jacket set clung a little too tightly but who was he to judge? She brushed aside her sandy blond hair.

"Its better if you try not to chew." she offered.

"Er...thanks…"

He slowly brought the small gelatin food substitute to his mouth. There were times as a child when he had gone hungry, family too poor to afford food. In those times he had learned that hunger was the best spice. He kinda doubted that now. Fish heads looked more appealing. It was almost past his lips now.

"There you are!" 

Walter turned to see Jonathan making his way toward him through the crowded room.

"I have been searching for you all over! Did you come here looking for food?"

"What passes for it…" Walter muttered under his breath. 

Jonathan tilted his head. "Sorry? I did not catch that."

A devilish thought popped up. Walter turned on his stool to face Jonathan completely. The yellow samurai looked so innocent and confused. Oh yeah. This would be fun.

"I was just remaking," Walter started, "how tasty this is. I have already had a few because we may not get a chance to eat something so good for a while." Jonathan stood on the tips of his toes to try and see the counter in front of Walter. Hook, line, sinker. "Here, have mine." 

Jonathan studied Walter's smile. It seemed somewhat devilish. He would dare to poison a fellow samurai, at least he hoped. The two butt heads but he hoped Walter wasn't THAT vindictive. He glanced at the female hunter. She gave a small nod of encouragement before burying her face in a small mystic relic not unlike their gauntlets.

"Very well. I will try it." Jonathan said as he moved next to Walter at the bar. "If you vouch for it, I'm sure it must be good."

Walter smiled even wider. Without a word he slid the unappetizing blob in front of his fellow samurai. The face Jonathan made upon seeing it was almost enough to make Walter crack. A mixture of regret and confusion passed over his delicate features. Jonathan paled. From behind the bar, the bartender gave a quizzical look.

"Ah, my apologies." Jonathan said quickly. 

The bartender shook his head and went back to updating the large screens that hung above him. Jonathan turned his attention back to the 'food'.

"I know it probably doesn't look like much to someone used to fancy foods," Walter said, leaning in. "But the taste really is something else."

If Jonathan thought of himself on one thing, it was humble. He realized that thinking this wasn't very modest but the point was that he had more humility than most Luxourers. If he had to pick a second trait for himself, it would be competitive and right now, it seemed like Walter was challenging him. Of course that's what it was. The nice gesture DID seemed out of character for the blue samurai. Jonathan steeled himself.  
In a graceful motion, Jonathan lifted the delicate morsel and ate it. 

Or at least he tried to. Almost as soon as he closed his mouth, Jonathan went rigid. His cheeks turned a sickly color. Walter on the other hand was laughing so hard that he almost fell off of his stool. Still in a stone like state, Jonathan got off the stool and made his way to the exit. Walter followed to see how his prank would play out. 

As soon as he was up the stairs and out of the underground stronghold, Jonathan spat out the food. Walter, upon seeing Jonathan doing something so ungentlemanly, couldn't hold his laughter back anymore. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes as he sat on the hood of a car. He was laughing too hard to even stand. Jonathan was less amused.

The Luxuror wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. The green tint to his cheeks was replaced with a burning red.

"How childish!" Jonathan scolded over Walter's roaring laughter. "We have no time for such pranks!"

Walter tried to catch his breath. Even though he stopped, his shoulders still shook, threatening to bring on another fit of laughter. 

"Don't be like that. I rather enjoyed watching that." he grinned.

Jonathan shook his head. "Honestly, Walter," he grimaced. The acrid taste still filled his mouth. "We have no time for games."

He turned his head away. Walter could have sworn he saw Jonathan's eyes glisten. Maybe it was a bit mean to trick him like that. 

"Come on. You need to loosen up." Walter thrust a hand into his samurai jacket. "I was just trying to make you laugh. I apologize."

"You don't sound sincere." Jonathan held back a gag.

"I am. And as a peace offering, I want to give you this mystic relic." Walter pulled a small object out of his pocket. In his outstretched palm was a small circle, tied on two ends. It looked almost like a gem in its wrapping.

Jonathan shot Walter a skeptical look. "No thank you."

"No this one is good! I swear on Aquila himself." Walter offered his hand again.

It was a difficult decision. The taste in Jonathan's mouth was terrible and he was desperate to get rid of it. But Walter could just as easily give him another disgusting Tokyo 'food'. Without a word, Jonathan took the small relic.

"How is this eaten?" he sighed.

Walter beamed, glad that Jonathan took his offering. "Unwrap the foil and put it in your mouth."

Still begrudgingly, Jonathan did as he was instructed. He unwrapped the small orb, a shiny tan color, and popped it into his mouth. He closed his eyes and braced for the worst.

Instead, Jonathan tasted an overwhelming sweetness. It was slightly buttery and had a hint of vanilla. An involuntary smile spread across his face. The sweet slowly began to melt in his mouth.

"Pretty good right?"

Jonathan opened his eyes to see A smug Walter. 

"I believe Burroughs said it was called 'caramel'. They would never allow anything that good in Mikado."

"You shouldn't shpeak sho ill of our homewand." Jonathan said with his mouth full. The caramel was surprisingly hard to chew. It was stickier than it looked but after a minute he finished the candy.

"You shouldn't speak so ill of our homeland." he repeated.

Walter stretched his arms behind his head. "Fine. I'll be sure to keep them to myself if I find any more."

"What?" Jonathan pouted. "You wouldn't dare!"

The samurai began to bicker until they were interrupted by Walter's stomach growling. They young men dragged themselves back to the bar in the shelter. They were going to have to get used to Tokyo's food eventually. And they were definitely going to have to find more of those caramel relics.


End file.
